UCSD SARC

I was out with my friends in Pacific Beach on a Saturday night when were approached by a guy we knew in the dorms. We had just gotten into the bar when he stumbled up to us, and we quickly realized he had already had way too much to drink. He started hitting on one of my friends very aggressively, following us from bar to bar and making our whole group uncomfortable.

I finally decided to say something. I noticed a tow trunk pull up outside to hitch up a car that looked just like his friend’s. I pointed out the window and quickly said, “Hey, isn’t that your ride home getting towed?” He and his designated driver panicked, running out of the bar and leaving us alone.

If someone is making you feel uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to speak up! You can be a responsive bystander in any situation where something doesn’t feel right.

-submitted by JR

Every Monday, we’ll be sharing IDEAS from those who have taken action and chose to be responsive bystanders. If you have a BIT moment you’d like to share, email sarc@ucsd.edu.

I just had to make a creative decision when I saw a couple fighting while in line at Chipotle.

The male was aggressively up in the female’s face yelling at her and she was clearly upset, crying, and kept trying to move away from him without making a scene.

My first instinct was to tell him to back off. But…

The guy was much bigger than I am and so I tried to get creative - I first alerted the staff to get the store manager involved.

Then without thinking much, I walked right up to the woman, put my arm around her, and moved her away slightly and said, “HEY!!! Long time, no see!” She looked surprised but then said, “Yeah, I know!” I then hugged her and whispered, “I actually don’t know you but I see how your boyfriend is treating you. If you need help, please ask, and the staff here know about it too.”

She smiled and thanked me and I said “Good to see you!” and walked away.

I hope she speaks up or leaves him, but in the meantime, if you ever are a bystander, don’t be silent. Every little BIT helps.

- submitted by eam

Every Monday, we’ll be sharing IDEAS from those who have taken action and chose to be responsive bystanders. If you have a BIT moment you’d like to share, email sarc@ucsd.edu.

Every Monday, we’ll be sharing IDEAS from UCSD students who have taken action and chose to be responsive bystanders. Check out the story below…

The Acknowledgment:  We are celebrating a birthday in my back yard with tons of people, the house is completely crowded with friends and random people I’ve never met.  I notice my friend Courtney is missing so I ask around to see if anyone has seen her. I get to my best friend Dana who says that she saw her walk away with some guy a couple of minutes ago. As we search for them we see two people in a dark corner but can’t clearly make out what is happening.  My gut tells me that I should make sure my friend is okay and prevent anything from happening. 

The Assessment:   Neither Dana nor I  know what is happening is happening at this point. For all we know they could easily be talking, making out, or worse - it’s too dark to tell.  Even with the lack of information we decide to do something just to make sure everything is alright.  

Taking Action:  We don’t want to directly walk in and confront the situation because for all we know they mutually decided to go off by themselves.  Our plan was to pretend to be walking in from the outside gate near where the two were standing, then casually intervene and ask them to come back to the party with us. That way it avoids any awkwardness and we can make sure our friend is okay.  By the time we got there the two had already rejoined the party so we assumed whatever happened was over. 

Affirmation: It always important to look out for your friends, if you notice one of them missing go look for them and make sure everything is alright.  If you encounter a similar situation, remember to assess the situation and strategize different ways to approach it. You may not have a lot of information but being a responsive bystander is about responding to behavior that may put someone at risk. Remember that intervening doesn’t have to mean directly confronting a situation use your surroundings and be creative.

- submitted by JC, UCSD Student

*All names have been changed to protect the identity of the parties involved.

It’s a brand new academic year at UC San Diego!

We’ll be adding some new features to our Tumblr so stay tuned!